This is me. These are my thoughts and ideas and this is my life. I would like to write a book that someone besides myself would want to read. I dream of a better tomorrow, not just for myself but for our country and our world. I love animals and nature and people sometimes scare me even though I will throw myself between a dog I don't know and my own dog. If you follow me hopefully I will make it a habit to write and you will learn more as we go, and hopefully I will too.
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Longing to Play...
I’m auditioning for a play on Saturday.It has some musical parts, but I don’t think
it’s a “true” musical.I’ve been in my
share of musicals – not a lot, but a couple.Starting in grade school I was a flying monkey in “The Wizard of Oz” and
the train conductor in “The Music Man”.I was a nun in “The Sound of Music”.I loved being in plays, dressing up, putting on makeup, but most of all,
being part of a group.I wish I had
tried out for “Oliver” in 7th grade.At that point in my short career I realized I was drifting away from my
friends, and I just couldn’t face it at the time.
Once I graduated from High School I thought
plays were behind me.My life was my
boyfriend and college, then my job and my baby.I tried writing, and I actually wrote a play.I sent it out (to several publishers) and
received one reply.I can’t remember the
wording but all I read was “not good enough”.When my daughter was old enough to hang out with my best friend I tried
out for “Where’s Charley?” through a community group.To my surprise I got a bit part with a bit of
almost solo singing!It was so much fun
to be part of the group again.No one
needed to know me, they just needed to know that I would be there and play my
part.I could be whoever I wanted to be
on and off the stage.After the final
curtain fell so did the tears.I would
miss these people, these times.
Several years after that I auditioned for “Colorplay”.It was a play with actors ranging from small
child to elder adult.I don’t remember
much from that experience except this – my daughter was in it with me.She had a good time but it was because there
were other kids there with her to goof off with.I did not have a good time because I was
constantly monitoring my child as well as the other kids whose parents just
dropped them off.I decided that I would
never work with children again.
The last play I was in was “Fiddler on the
Roof”.I loved this play.Besides the music the actors were great!The story line was beautiful, annndddddd I
had a real role!I was grandma Tzeitel!I had a solo!I was a dead grandma in a dream sequence but I stole the stage for a
brief moment and it was awesome!All
eyes were on me and they loved me!
That was over ten years ago.I tried out for a regular play this past
spring.I didn’t get a call back.They had their regular players.Once in the room with them I could tell they
had previous relationships.I tried, I
read with the emotion and precision the character needed, but I knew walking out
that I wasn’t getting a call back.I’m
hoping that when I audition this weekend that I’ll see some new faces as well
as some familiar ones.
All I want is a chorus part.I want to be part of the cast.I want the feeling of creating something
bigger than all of us.I want the
grueling practices, the grumbling about the director.I want the feeling of elation when we finally
harmonize and keep going and finish with amazing clarity.I want the butterflies and the dry mouth that
comes before the show, the comradery where we look out for each other.And then when we hear the opening score, and
the audience settles in their seats and the lights go down and the curtain goes
up and all of a sudden you are there.You are just there.I want that
feeling in my chest at the end of the show where I feel like I love the world
and it will never end.I want that.I miss that.I need that.
The song I’ve chosen to sing a Capella for my
audition is “If I Only Had a Brain” from The Wizard of Oz.I was trying to find something more modern,
from a more recent play, but this one has been rolling around in my brain for
days and it needs to be sung, so sing it I will.Now I’m going to try to break a leg…