|Trying to grow spiritually - hopefully I have the right tools|
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
You Look Nice Today
I gave up meat for lent. At least I am trying to. I’m not a practicing Catholic. I have trouble with living by a book that a man wrote. I believe in God and that Jesus was a great teacher and that if we lived by his tenets that this world would be a much better place. I do not go to church except when I find a priest I love to listen to, one that connects with his congregation and one that is human and shares his trials and tribulations, not just preach about how damned we all are.
I know I probably have disappointed my parents in the way I don’t attend services. I’ve tried Methodist, I’ve gone to synagogue. I like listening to the stories and singing and being a part of something bigger than myself, but I dislike hugging strangers. And even if we’re all part of a church family, you are still a stranger to me. I very rarely reach out to someone and hug them. I have to be very comfortable to do that. So group gatherings are not a good fit for me.
I was trying to think of what I could do instead of giving up meat, because let’s face it, this isn’t working. In fact, last night after I took my daughter to her safe driving course I suggested a burger from the King. Not thinking, I had one. I realized it on my way home, after dropping her off at her house, that I had done it again! Then the guilt sets in. Why do I get myself all worked up? I haven’t done lent in years!
I was thinking I could do something more. I read part of an editorial about giving of yourself, not taking something away, and I thought “What can I do?” I’m not sure yet. I am sincerely selfish because I will not go outside to shovel a neighbor’s driveway just for the hell of it. If they were elderly and couldn’t get out I would be there but just to do it for an able bodied acquaintance? Ummm, no. I thought about volunteering at the SPCA, which is a noble act indeed and I support the people who do so, but I would walk away every day wanting a cat or dog and wondering if they were going to be put down if I didn’t take them home. We have three dogs and one cat. We can’t afford flea and tick medicine, let alone emergency care, at this point.
Then I thought this – A Random Act of Kindness – every day. The only way I have participated in this so far is that I have stopped myself from saying something mean, or being preachy, and just letting the other person talk. Say what they have to say. Inwardly I may be screaming, but on the outside I look like I care. Not fair? It is if you’re the one sitting across from me. I’m kidding, for the most part, although I am trying to be more accommodating/fair/nice. I’m actually pretty good with people I don’t know. It’s people that I DO know that I have no patience for.
So this Lenten season, I will try to cut down my meat consumption and work very hard at doing something nice for someone every day.