Thursday, April 2, 2015
PAD Day 2 - Secrets
You are my secret, known to precious few.
Your father, me, my best friend
The psychic who saw you with me.
He saw you grow, whereas I cannot.
So many questions in my mind about you-
Had you lived.
Had I not destroyed you before you were ripped from my womb.
I am still selfish, but I try to atone for you.
The boy, who sat below my heart for such a short perilous time,
Who gave me a brief moment of hope before I realized I had already ruined you.
I wish I had been more careful
I wish I had been more ready for you.
I have loved you every day, my son,
Even when I pretended you weren’t real.
I thought I would have another chance to hold you again
But time has slipped away, and you never returned.
My punishment for being a child, doing grown-up things.
My secret shame.
My secret love.