PAD Day 2 - Secrets

My Love

 

You are my secret, known to precious few.

Your father, me, my best friend

The psychic who saw you with me.

He saw you grow, whereas I cannot.

So many questions in my mind about you-

Had you lived.

Had I not destroyed you before you were ripped from my womb.

I am still selfish, but I try to atone for you.

The boy, who sat below my heart for such a short perilous time,

Who gave me a brief moment of hope before I realized I had already ruined you.

I wish I had been more careful

I wish I had been more ready for you.

I have loved you every day, my son,

Even when I pretended you weren’t real.

I thought I would have another chance to hold you again

But time has slipped away, and you never returned.

My punishment for being a child, doing grown-up things.

My secret shame.

My secret love.