Thursday, May 7, 2015

PAD Day 21 - What I Am


What I Am

 
As the youngest girl, and invisible middle child

I never thought I would be an ambassador.

Not for a country or an organization, although most certainly one of good will.

I am an ambassador for my family.

Funerals, weddings, reunions, birthdays,

it is I who show up.

When asked about the others

I paint a rosy picture of where they are

and what they are doing.

Everyone knows who I am, but in my position in the family

they never remember my name.

I was not the pretty one, the smart one, the athletic one, the adventurous one.

If they had noticed, I was the one with my

face buried in a book under a tree,

pretending I had run away and all

I needed to do all day was live in my head.

I was the one in the background at family events,

washing and drying dishes,

listening to family gossip

and where the girls went clubbing

and where they stole their make-up.

I knew when my sister started smoking

and when my brother got blithering drunk at a party

when he was supposed to be at a friend’s house.

I knew these things but they were safe with me.

As the quiet one I thought I would be safe from having to interact. 

Now that I’m older, I am the ambassador for my family. 

If someone is looking for information about someone they contact me.

Funny, if someone were to inquire about me,

they would be hard pressed to get an answer. 

I know my family, but

they don’t know me.