Day 12 - November

Today is Day 12 of the Writer's Digest November PAD Chapbook Challenge.  I've been kind of hopping around, because not all of this month's challenges have inspired me yet, but I hope they will.  I am still trying.  I'm still in the game.  Let me know what you think!  I really do want to know!

November

The crunch of leaves under my tall black boots on a lunchtime walk.

The smell of wood smoke in the air,

and the buzz of a chainsaw in the far distance.

Memories rise of fall mornings,

preparing wood to be saved and stacked so we would be warm for winter.

Dressed in flannel and thermal and denim,

boots on our feet and gloves on our hands,

sent out by our mother to

help our father prepare for winter storms.

Although we protested at first,

our work quickly evolved into play.

I don’t know who started it first,

but every log we threw was thrown with a word,

whether it was a

Star Wars character, or

things of a certain color, or a

popular song, or an

“and then” story.

We kept it going until we couldn’t go any farther and then we started it again.

Warming ourselves next to the wood stove,

cups of steaming hot chocolate topped with melting marshmallows.

Mom in the kitchen making lunch-

peanut butter and jelly or tuna fish sandwiches,

maybe some soup.

Rosy cheeks and runny noses, bright eyes and yawns.

November.

My sweet November.

Oh, how I miss it…

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Play It Cool

Today's prompt?  It's "Play", so I decided to "Play it Cool".  Hope you like it.  You can find the challenge here at Writer's Digest.  

Play It Cool

I try to play it cool, really I do.

My motto is "live and let live".

Not so much the people around me

and sometimes I get so frustrated

I just want to make them realize that

pushing

their agenda

down my throat

is not the way to do things

so I fire back in

full

righteous

mode

and blast them.

And then I step back,

rub my face,

lean into the corner and shrug.

Whatever.

That’s how I play.

Dogmental

Day 5 - Write a "wire" poem.  So here it is!  Check out the challenge here at Writer's Digest.

Dogmental

Your frantic eyes search out my face then turn away just as quickly.

You run circles around the table and get intertwined in the computer’s cables.

As soon as we disentangle you from your own trap you are back to circling. 

Bark at the other dogs, wag your tail, come push my hand to pet you, incessant whining.

I scratch your head and feel you burning up.

Your wires are crossed, again.

We talk to you softly until you calm down and your head cools.

The electricians re-routing your energy so you can run correctly again.

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A Kept Woman

Day 4 of the Writer's Digest November challenge: write a poem of a life imagined.

A Kept Woman

A kept woman has an apartment with a view of the city.

She has beautiful clothes and a neat kitchen with a wine rack and a bar.

She sleeps in silk negligees and her makeup is perfect.

Her furniture is top of the line, and everything is paid for, even her.

He visits, but rarely stays.

She listens and nods; murmurs now and then and sympathizes.

She is a haven, a stress-relief, a port in a storm.

She straddles him and does what he (and she) desire.

When he travels he takes her and they pretend they are all they have.

She belongs to him.

She loves him.

And she tells herself he loves her, too.

And when he’s gone,

home to his lovely wife and 2.5 children,

she curls up in the overstuffed chair and cashmere blanket

with a cup of tea and a romance novel,

and she imagines him across from her.

It would be different for them.

He would love her totally,

and she would make sure their home was welcoming and calm.

She would make him dinner every night and

he would make love to her after the children were put to bed.

When he headed out the door

to go back to the office to finish up some forgotten work

she would smile and think

what a great provider he is.

She sighs as she opens her book.

Someday…

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If I'd Only Followed Directions (DRAFT)

Yesterday was Day 3 of the Writer's Digest November Challenge.  The prompt was "If I'd Only ________".  Here is my interpretation:

If I’d Only Followed Directions

The directions my parents gave me always seemed so stuffy,

so grown up and

unbelievable to me.

Get an education,

get a job,

meet someone,

fall in love,

get married,

buy a house,

have some kids,

grow old together.

Add in the standard don’t smoke,

drink in moderation,

don’t do drugs.

Mix it up with treat others as you would have done unto you,

turn the other cheek,

always be kind.

All of this would guarantee me a

picture

perfect

life.

Except somewhere along the way I messed up

and following directions got screwed around and not for me. 

I was unique and I marched to a different drummer.

I did everything backwards and upside down.

I still look for that picket fence and those children

with the dad that takes care of everyone.

I wonder if he would have made a difference in our lives,

made my life easier,

made it so that I wouldn’t have had to make so many decisions.

Oh, if only I’d listened!

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Feline Queen (Draft)

Today's poetic challenge through Writer's Digest - channel my spirit animal.  Even though I love dogs, I am a cat at heart.

Feline Queen 

I come to you on my terms only.

Soft and sweet I can turn and draw blood in a moment.

Don’t doubt that.

You can touch, when I choose

and you will be happy and possibly angry ,

because you can’t do anything about it.

Spend too much time, or get too loud and

I will turn away and efficiently block you.

You envy me, enjoying my own spot in the sun,

my windowsill,

my perspective.

You hate me for the very same thing.

Just one purr,

one brush of me against you,

and all is forgiven.

My girl, AJ - she taught me well!

The Song That Ended (DRAFT)

So today I learned about Trimeric poetry.  I don’t know if I did it right but I like how it turned out and am presenting it here for your opinion.  It’s about a real kid and a real song and a real love we share.  I get such a kick out of him, and I think he does with me too.

Headed out to trick-or-treat tonight, but figured I’d leave you with this little gem. 

Enjoy!

The Song That Ended

There was a song I sang with him

That had no end

We’d sing on and on

And our voices would blend.

There was no end and it made us sing all the harder

If it bothered someone

We were none the wiser.

It was our song and we sang it non-stop with glee

My part, then his

We sang joyfully.

Blending our voices with joy, then, but the seeds were still sown

He’ll sing no more with me,

Now that he’s grown.

Let me know what you think!

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PAD Day 30 - Bury the _____

Bury the Past

I wish I could walk away and not look back,

this life you lead is totally whack. 
Get your life together, so we can be friends,

if it stays like this,

well, it has to end.

PAD Day 29 - Nobody Knows

Thought to Action

When he died I thought “Oh shit”,

I did it. 

All those years, I had been saying I hoped he would die,

life would be so much easier. 

I wondered if I could make it happen, like I did when I was 17, and just kidding around,

spoke those words several times, “I hope you die a violent death”. 

Just kidding at the time, never meant it, I loved them both. 

Then at the beginning of summer they were gone, dead in a tragic car accident

– or was it? 

An accident, I mean. 

Did I cause that? 

And then he died, nearly twenty years later, my mantra echoing in my ears

– life would be so much easier if he would just die. 

It is my secret power,

to wish someone dead,

and for it to come true.

PAD Day 28 - Matter

Gray Matter

A lump of gray that

works grandly for some and not

so great for others.

PAD Day 27 - Looking Back

Hindsight

If hindsight were 20/20 and I had to do it all over again:

Spankings would be mandatory, as the hugs and I love you’s were;

there would be no TV or internet;

walks would be great fun, more than they were;

laughing at ourselves would be easier and done more often;

respect would be demanded and talking back not tolerated;

reading out loud and often to each other would be enjoyable and begged for.

I would give you choices, not letting you choose just anything;

your genetics would not be allowed as an excuse for your actions;

boys would not be allowed until there was a healthy respect for yourself.

If hindsight were 20/20, I would not have to visit you in jail;

watch you throw your “self” away to become what someone else wants you to be;

see you not finish school;

watch you grow older than your twenty-five years.

I would not hate myself for who you have become.

PAD Day 26 - Shakespeare Words

Ode to Your Eyeball

Your eyeball makes me self-conscious –

As it strays to the left or right I completely ignore

your other eye, not sure where I ever made eye contact with others

when their eyes were not

wandering to and fro.

Please don’t think I am distracted – I am very interested in

what you have to say,

just please hold that eyeball still!

PAD Day 25 - Across The Sea

The Sea

Looking across the sea I feel like I can finally breathe.  The salt air

and timeless scene relaxes my mind and brings me back to me

and who I was before and even before that. 

I am centered and in balance with the universe, and

I realize that I am okay, if only for this moment.

PAD Day 24 - Moment

The Moment

June 27, 1987 at 4:08 am

I woke up and at that moment,

before I knew it, I lost

our next day,

our next kiss,

our next argument,

our next make-up,

our next glance.

We lost our future,

our dreams,

our white picket fence.

At that moment, I lost everything

…with you.

 

PAD Day 23 - History

The Witch’s Spell

 

You would think that a witch, a true witch,

would have been able to save herself.

“Witch Finders” should not have had such power,

no man should. Nor should little girls.

The fact that it was about land, really, and not spirituality made me want to scream.

I don’t know why this made it worse for me.

Maybe because you can’t touch anyone’s spirit,

you can’t change it,

but you can touch and change land.

And it was all about men too, because they wanted it all.

For a group of people who wanted freedom from persecution they really did a turnabout.

Who am I to disparage them?

Today’s society scorns each other as if it were sport.

Doesn’t matter what color, religion, sexual orientation – whatever,

we all get up in each other’s faces,

or better yet each other’s social media – for what?

It’s not for land.

I don’t think it’s for anyone’s spirituality either.

I think they must have been true witches after all,

and they have cursed their tormentor’s children for generations

and will continue to do so.

Their curse?

To let history repeat itself and for us

not to learn the lessons.

PAD Day 21 - What I Am

What I Am

 

As the youngest girl, and invisible middle child

I never thought I would be an ambassador.

Not for a country or an organization, although most certainly one of good will.

I am an ambassador for my family.

Funerals, weddings, reunions, birthdays,

it is I who show up.

When asked about the others

I paint a rosy picture of where they are

and what they are doing.

Everyone knows who I am, but in my position in the family

they never remember my name.

I was not the pretty one, the smart one, the athletic one, the adventurous one.

If they had noticed, I was the one with my

face buried in a book under a tree,

pretending I had run away and all

I needed to do all day was live in my head.

I was the one in the background at family events,

washing and drying dishes,

listening to family gossip

and where the girls went clubbing

and where they stole their make-up.

I knew when my sister started smoking

and when my brother got blithering drunk at a party

when he was supposed to be at a friend’s house.

I knew these things but they were safe with me.

As the quiet one I thought I would be safe from having to interact. 

Now that I’m older, I am the ambassador for my family. 

If someone is looking for information about someone they contact me.

Funny, if someone were to inquire about me,

they would be hard pressed to get an answer. 

I know my family, but

they don’t know me.

 

 

 

PAD Day 22 - Nature

Dragonfly

 

To experience a dragonfly communicating with you is truly remarkable.

I believe that dragonflies are our loved ones

that have passed on. 

They are here to reassure us

that they are still here, watching over us.

When one lands on me I think it must be someone who truly loved me,

like my nana or my dad.

I always smile and stop what I’m doing

and wait for it to take off again.

 

 

 

 

PAD Day 20 - My (blank), the (blank)

My Friend, the Extreme

 

My best friend lived in the Port Authority in New York City for a short time

At least that’s what she said.

Every couple of days I get a new voice mail-

“I’m losing weight”

“I’ve been sick”

“Did I ever have a baby and give it up?”

“I think I have a brain tumor”

“Good news – no tumor, just a sinus infection”

And on and on and on…

I love her, she’s a good person, and I wish her well

but I think she’s got the corner on crazy.

Between hospital stays and pets at death’s door

I’ve had to stand back and detach a little.

I’ve told her that I hate being on the phone and that I will write to her.

And I do, once a month, to let her know what I’m up to.

And she can call and leave a message, because she’s not a writer.

But if I get on the phone with her

The silences, where I want to tell her she needs help,

that she’s a hypochondriac,

that her past is so messed up in her head, are hard to deal with.

I want so badly for her to end the call but I have to be the one.

Every.

Single .

Time.

I remain in touch with her after years of silence

Because I know she needs a friend, and I do too.

It’s just that sometimes, she’s just too much.

And most times, for her, I’m not enough.

PAD Day 19 - Authority

Yes, Miss Manners

 

I have no authority over my own self

I get angry, so angry I want to lash out,

to scream and hit and punch and kick

But, knowing that it is frowned upon, stops me

I smile, or at least keep my mouth shut.

It wouldn’t be right to make a scene, and

what does it help anyway?

Always be gracious and you will be treated kindly in return.

If not, just remember that those who treat others badly are

those that need your grace the most.

Yes, Miss Manners, although she was around before my generation, has taught me well.

She holds me in check.

 

 

PAD Day 18 - Two Vowels Only

The directions said we could use "text speak" so I took the liberty of changing one word so I could write this.

Cat Naps

 

My fat cats sat on mats on slats. 

A spat on a mat – oy!  Damn cats!

Royal, Troy, Cal, Sam and AJ –

mats r for naps not spats!

 

This is AJ.  She is actually laying on a mat, on a slatted bench!