PAD Day 29 - Nobody Knows

Thought to Action

When he died I thought “Oh shit”,

I did it. 

All those years, I had been saying I hoped he would die,

life would be so much easier. 

I wondered if I could make it happen, like I did when I was 17, and just kidding around,

spoke those words several times, “I hope you die a violent death”. 

Just kidding at the time, never meant it, I loved them both. 

Then at the beginning of summer they were gone, dead in a tragic car accident

– or was it? 

An accident, I mean. 

Did I cause that? 

And then he died, nearly twenty years later, my mantra echoing in my ears

– life would be so much easier if he would just die. 

It is my secret power,

to wish someone dead,

and for it to come true.