Thanksgiving Prep

They slammed the cupboard doors and yelled about the filthy house.  Nothing was ready for company.

“I’ll take care of it!” I screamed. 

It had been a long week and I was extremely tired.

After they finally left, I lit the match.

For Your Own Good

Anxiety rips my chest apart and causes pain in my

heart and

non-stop thoughts in my head about

how I can make everything better,

that kissing your boo-boos will make all the bad stuff go away and

then I realize I can’t fix everything like I used to and

you are an adult with a husband and

children and

you both need to stop acting like kids yourselves and

face up to the fact that he is mentally unstable and

my grandchildren are living in that environment and

getting more and more unstable themselves when they are faced with moving yet again and

this time without more of their stuff even though their father gets to take all of his toys and

the system that is set up to protect them does nothing,

NOTHING, and

they are left on the wayside again even though

we’ve told their teachers there is something wrong and please,

please,

please report something, anything,

so they might have a halfway decent life, even if it is in a stranger’s home, and

even if we never see them again as long as they’re safe and away from him, and

then maybe you will decide you’ve had enough and

leave him too and

start your life the way you would have had you not decided to leave home at sixteen and…

…then I take a breath.  I think that this will never change.  This story will play out over and over again, and

I need to check out.  I look at the clock. 

Twilight will not make the dark circles under my eyes any brighter. 

I love you, but this is your circus. 

You chose that monkey. 

I will help destroy him, but in doing so, you and I may be destroyed too. 

As a mother

I have to tell you

– it’s for your own good.

Live, Learn and Have Some Fun!

Recently, very recently (this October!), I joined Writer’s Digest Platform Challenge (Writer's Digest).  I did so with some trepidation because I am in no way even close to becoming a seriously published writer, and I had no idea if I could put myself out there.  However, Robert Lee Brewer(on Twitter @RobertLeeBrewer) has a way of making one feel like there is value to who they are and what they write so I took him up on it. 

Every day I print out the directions and staple them into my notebook and carry it around with me so I remember a few things.  One, that I am part of this group, and two, that this is a challenge I am going to step up to and complete.  I have been awful in posting to the challenge page every day, and engaging in the #platchal conversations on twitter.  I’ve considered going back to when I stopped and just posting “Done” for every day I missed, but I feel like that was just a part of the challenge I missed and if I get dinged, well, that’s my problem. 

I will tell you this – it was a really cool experience.  I’m glad I did it and I look forward to using some of the tools we gleaned from this exercise, but I will also step back and see what is working for me and what isn’t.  Being on social media takes a lot of time out of a person’s day!  And it takes twice as much time when you have personal and professional sites!  The fun part of this challenge was meeting so many different people and connecting to them through this craft that we all have in common.

I also joined Yeah Write! (Yeah Write!) for their weekly challenges.  Already I am learning that just submitting something you wrote isn’t good enough.  One needs to know the challenge fully before beginning and how to use correct punctuation to be considered for public judging.  Unfortunately for me, I raced through the challenge idea with my eye on finishing the challenge and submitting it on time.  As easy as that sounds, it was not easy at all.  And it was just plain dumb.  I’m a better reader than that, and I am a better writer. 

That said, I never realized my punctuation was wrong.  I’m still having trouble processing that and it worries me.  Will a good editor eventually take care of that for me?  At this point in the game, I’m a little bit set in my ways and I don’t want to worry about whether a quotation mark is in the right place.  Is this wrong of me?  If someone corrects it enough times will I finally get it?  I wish my aunt was still alive.  She would set me so straight! 

Even though I got shot down with my first submission I am going to try again next week.  This group at Yeah Write! seems like a pretty good group to be in, with a lot of feedback and folks interested in the same thing- writing.  They give good advice and take one’s questions seriously.  They post interesting things to think about and seem to genuinely want your opinion.

Another challenge that I came across with this submission was linking a link-back to their page.  I had never done one and even though the directions were clear on their part, and even though I have been blogging for over a year, I had no clue how to get the link to work!  After some help from my new on-line friends, I was able to get the link right!  I guess you could say I learned some new things this week that might not help me out on Jeopardy, but should help me in my writing and blogging.

It’s not like I didn’t know writing was a challenge.  I always knew my novel wouldn’t write itself.  But for now, I realize I’m not alone in it.  I have found community through the Writer’s Digest Platform Challenge and through the Yeah Write! group, and for that I am ever so thankful!

It's a journey I'm going to take.

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The Concert

“I know I’m going to have to put out to get into the show”, she wailed.

“Why ever would you do that?” I asked.

“How else am I going to get in? With my good looks?”

“You can pay”, I said, smiling.

Being (A Little) Bad

     My friend, beastlybearfiction, turned me on to this writing challenge yesterday at YeahWrite.  It's pretty cool, you should check it out.  I would have participated had I read the guidelines sooner, but I did not.

     Here is what I would have submitted:

     Wolverine banged on their doors while I waited, amused.  Old ladies peered out their windows, cautious.  Children laughed seeing him standing there, swaying just a little.  I told him he was early, but no, he just had to go trick or treating.

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Twitter:  @jennifermcann06